Trust
by wndrw8
Summary: Olivia is hurt and her partner is there for her. (N/O)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is an experimental fic. It is very different from my normal style (aka this one is gonna be a bit light and fluffy). **

**Let me know what you think.**

* * *

He didn't trust her, but he wanted to. It was one of those puppy dog love things—this person you hate and love all at the same time. You're fascinated, but wary. Admiring, but resentful. Nick wanted to trust her but there was this voice in the back of his head that screamed, _don't_.

You can't trust a woman who doesn't trust the world.

* * *

"Talked to Zara on the phone last night," he said. They were sitting at the table in the middle of the precinct finishing up some paperwork. He had a coke in his hand and she had a cup of coffee in hers.

Brown hair cascaded over her shoulders. Brown hair that caught the light and shimmered. He loved that hair. "That's good. What'd she talk about?"

"School. Friends. You know."

"She miss you?"

Nick's pen stilled. He shifted in his seat and when he looked up, Olivia was looking straight back at him. Their eyes met and he held the gaze for as long as he could before looking away. As much as he wanted respect from her, sometimes when he looked in her eyes all he saw was pity. "Tough road ahead of us."

"You'll get through alright."

Olivia bit her lip and for a moment it seemed like she was hesitating. Like she was thinking about the time he grabbed her hand and didn't let go, or the time he let it rest on the small of her back. There were a lot of moments like those. He was trying to weave them in until she grew used to them. Until she trusted him.

"You know what? I'll buy you a drink."

He cocked his head. Shocked and a little unsure. Because she was a woman of routine. She was predictable with her relationships and choices.

He thought it would take more time to get there, but apparently there was something about a ruined marriage that got to her.

Nick smiled. "A drink?"

"Maybe one or two."

She wasn't smiling exactly, maybe smiling in her half frown sort of way, and it made him mad but he brushed it aside. It was a step in the right direction and he was willing to take it.

* * *

It felt weird having drinks with him alone. And although she liked him and thought he was basically a good guy, Olivia couldn't help but remember how the beer bottles had littered the living room that night she'd paid him a visit.

She was wary of two things: men and drinkers.

But he was sweet and treated her right, so Olivia was going to give him this chance. She'd just ordered two bottles of Corona when her cell phone rang.

Nick's eyebrows rose.

"It's Simon," she said. And although she shouldn't have, she felt a little disappointed. "I have to take this. I'll be right back."

Nick nodded, his eyes sweeping down to the smooth finish of the bar top. Maybe annoyed. Maybe apathetic. She wondered if maybe he felt a little more than just inconvenienced at the interruption. Could she still inspire strong feelings in a partner anymore? The last few years with Elliot… it felt like she couldn't and it weighed heavily on her.

Olivia stepped into the coolness of the night just as Simon began rambling away. His voice was strained, a little rougher than normal and she wondered briefly if he was using. But when she really thought about it, she decided he probably wasn't. Maybe cigarettes and cheap booze… that's what had been doing it for her lately.

"Simon, you have to slow down. Tell me again what—"

Olivia dropped the phone as someone struck her from behind. A hard hit—it got her in the soft tissue and sent her stumbling to the ground. She steadied herself. She spun, trying to send an elbow to the perpetrator's side but suddenly there were two of them and the other was hitting her in the stomach so hard she doubled over. For a moment, she couldn't breathe. Couldn't scream. They were in an alley next to the bar, so there had to be someone around, right? But she couldn't see anyone.

The men hit her again and again until she found her voice and started shouting. One shoved his hand across her mouth and she smelled shoe polish, cigarettes.

"You know where he is, so just tell us."

_Who_?

"Come on, lady. We needa find him. Bad."

In her panic, she'd missed the name of the man. Maybe it wasn't even someone she knew? "I don't know him."

"The hell you do. You were the detective on his case."

Blood ran hot down the side of her head and her vision blurred. Her mouth felt sore, probably from a broken tooth or bloody lip, and she wasn't sure how they'd caused her so much damage in such little time.

The bar door banged open and the two men jumped. One fled as the other cast her a final, wandering look. "Don't think this is it. We'll keep coming until you tell us."

* * *

At first, Nick wasn't entirely sure what he was seeing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man fleeing, but it didn't completely register because all he could do was rush forward towards her.

Olivia with her bottom lip dripping blood. Blood on the side of her head, a huge laceration just beneath the hairline. A patch of skin ripped off her cheek from what looked like a hit against the brick wall. She hunched over her stomach and cradled her arm, teeth clenched.

"What happened?"

"I…" she fumbled for words as he took out his cell phone and called it in. "It was so fast, I…"

"You know them?"

"No."

"Did they say anything?"

Her eyes fluttered and his arms went immediately around her waist, supporting her in a sitting position. Not too far off he could hear the police sirens, but that didn't resolve the tension forming in his chest. Olivia's breathing was erratic. Her pulse was, too. She was shaking and the blood on her head was starting to really alarm him.

"Olivia?"

"They were looking for someone."

The sirens screamed in his ear. Red and blue flashing lights, he held onto her as tight as he could. "Someone you know?"

"I don't… I think… they might be following me."

* * *

She felt stupid about pretty much the whole thing. Because she was more than capable of defending herself, but this one had just caught her off guard. Her mind wasn't in the present. If it had been, she would've noticed them.

"Replay it one more time for me, Olivia," Cragen asked. He was standing at the foot of her bed in the hospital with a pencil and paper in hand. "Be as specific as possible."

"She was specific. And I think she needs to—"

"Nick, please. It's fine." She let her hand rest against his, feeling the heat of his skin. He hadn't moved from her side since they'd arrived. "They were mid twenties, brown hair, six foot maybe two hundred pounds. I saw a snake tattoo on the one guy's forearm."

"Any coloring?"

"Just black."

Cragen sighed. He ran a hand over the top of his head, eyes crinkling. "How you holding up?"

The light flickered above her and she felt the dryness in her throat, the rasp as she opened her mouth. Her wrist was broken and she'd sustained a mild concussion, but she was okay. They'd cleaned up the blood and given her some painkillers and she'd manage just fine.

Right?

"I'll be home as soon as they let me. Give me a call if you have any more questions, Captain."

Her voice sounded so calm, she doubted it was her own. Would she have responded like this, ten… even five years ago? Maybe then she would've been on her feet, cursing and pacing about finding the men who attacked her.

But times changed. People changed. She watched herself grow more and more unfamiliar every day.

She licked her lips and looked up to find that Cragen was gone and Nick was sitting with his hand on her stomach. He was asking her something. She shook her head. "Sorry, what?"

"I said I don't think it's a good idea- you going home."

"Nick, I'm fine. I really—"

"I know you feel fine. But what if these guys _are_ following you? They'll know where you live."

Her wrist sent a jolt of pain up her arm as she leaned forward and drew the hospital sheets off her bare legs. The air was cold against her skin. Her clothes sat on the chair next to her and she was reaching for them when Nick stepped in and gave them to her himself.

His eyelashes fluttered against his skin. He was cute in a way that completely unnerved her sometimes. "Look, I know we're still kinda new partners, and maybe you don't trust me but…"

"I don't have any immediate family in the area and I'm really not worried—"

"Why don't you stay with me?"

Olivia stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. Her breath whispered out, low and calm. Just like everything else, she barely even recognized the softness of it. "Nick…"

"You're a little handicapped right now. If you haven't noticed."

He nodded to the cast on her wrist that ran from the top of her hand to her elbow. It was bulky and sterile feeling. She briefly remembered hearing one of the doctors saying not to put it under water… "We'll need to inform Cragen."

"Course. I'll take care of it."

He drew the cloth divider around her as she took the clothes. "Nick?"

He stopped. Looked at her with those ridiculous brown eyes and she realized why she was so distracted at that bar. It was a dangerous line she had to learn how to draw.

"Thanks," she said.

He nodded and drew the divider tight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Your reviews have pushed me to update a bit faster than I normally would've. **

**Thanks! Keep 'em coming.**

* * *

He watched carefully for cars that drew behind them on the highway. He watched license plate numbers, colors, makes, and models, his eyes skimming over the rear view mirror as he switched lanes. But there was no one. They made it back to his apartment and he tried not to notice how she clutched the bottle of painkillers in her palm.

He didn't take her for a user, but people were full of surprises.

Olivia ambled into the living room and settled on the couch, leaning her head back against expelling a sigh. There were dark circles beneath her eyes. Her lip was swollen and the medical glue shimmered from beneath her hairline. She cradled her wrist.

"You can have the guest bedroom. I'll get you—"

She popped two more of the painkillers in her mouth and dry swallowed. "Okay. Thanks."

But she didn't move. Her head rolled to the side after a while, and as he put up some things in the kitchen, he watched her slowly fade into a medicated sleep. Her brown hair fell in loose ringlets at her shoulders, mouth slightly open. For a second he thought about leaning down and pressing his lips against hers, parting them with his tongue and tasting her.

He ordered sushi and she barely stirred when the delivery man rang the buzzer.

"Liv," he said quietly. The sushi was out on the table already and she needed to eat. "Olivia, wake up."

Without thinking, he ran a hand through her hair, feeling it silky smooth against his palm and then he was cupping her neck. Her eyes fluttered open. She caught his gaze. They stared at each other for a moment before he pulled his hand away.

"Foods here."

"You cooked?"

He smiled. "Even better. I ordered."

* * *

It was hard for Olivia to eat because her lip was sore. Her lip was sore and so was her stomach and her chest and her ribs and her cheek and her wrist. She felt like she'd been hit by a bus. Unfortunately, that's what police work did to a woman who was almost in her fifties.

"I should probably take a shower," she blurted after the meal was over. The painkillers were rattling inside her brain and it felt kind of like she'd downed a half bottle of whiskey and smoked a half a pack of stale Newports.

"You'd be better off taking a bath. So your cast doesn't get wet."

"You have a tub?"

"Of course we do." His eyebrows furrowed and the corner of one lip tilted up. "You feeling okay?"

"Fine. Can you show me the bathroom?"

He lead her upstairs, turning every once in a while to make sure she was still there. It made her chuckle. She felt the old Olivia sneaking back into her smile as her eyes caught on that tight little behind of his.

When they reached the top of the stairs, she felt light headed and sat down on the toilet while he was drawing the water. Heat emanated off the white porcelain. He poured something lavender scented in it and she could soon see the bubbles rising. "I feel… out of it," she admitted.

"That's the hydrocodone."

"It's terrible."

"I bet." He turned and placed a towel on the sink next to her. "Don't fall asleep in there, okay?"

"Can't promise you anything."

"Olivia…"

She had the first few buttons of her shirt undone and was fumbling with the last few when she felt his hands on hers. No more fumbling. Deftly he undid the last three buttons and gently slid the short sleeved shirt down over her cast. She shivered under the cool air.

His breath on her skin drew chills.

"We'll need to figure out who they're after," Nick said. His cheeks were a little pink and he kept his eyes at the tiled floor. "Try to remember. Maybe they mentioned a name?"

Olivia heard him, but it felt like he was far away.

She turned so her back was to him and tried to unclasp her bra, but her wrist was too swollen. A spasm of pain rippled up her arm as she bent it back and she hissed. The damn cast. She was swollen and sore and with limited motion. How did injured people do this alone?

Olivia was about to try again when she felt the edges of his fingertips on his skin. They skimmed over her shoulder bone, then the curve of her neck. Cool and reassuring. What did he think he was doing? A light moan escaped her lips and she heard his breath hitch. His fingertips pushed gently into her skin, and for a moment she thought he would let them slide around to her nipples.

In one smooth motion he unclasped the bra and pulled it down her arms. It fell on the floor.

She turned to thank him just as he walked out.

* * *

He sat with his back against the door, listening for her. He was hard, a little out of breath, and felt like an idiot for touching her like that. She was medicated. She was his partner. She was OLIVIA. Nothing could push her away so fast but to make a move when he wasn't wanted. Nick ran a hand over his hair. He heard her lower herself into the bathtub, the water as it splashed against the porcelain.

Damn, he wanted to be in that tub with her. He wanted to bathe her and run his hands over her skin. He wanted to feel her. But he knew better.

After a while the water stopped splashing and he heard the sound of the plug being pulled.

The water drained.

He stood and when the door opened, a blast of lavender mist enveloped his senses. She was in a towel, and her hair hung limply on her shoulders. The water trailed in rivulets down her exposed collar bones before soaking into the brown towel she held around her chest.

Olivia looked him straight in the eye. "I was talking to Simon when they came. Do you think that has something to do with it?"

He was trying hard not to focus on the small bit of cleavage that crested the top of the towel. "I'll show you to your room."

"They said I was the detective on his case."

He led her down the hall and into the spare bedroom. The mattress was bare so he spread fresh sheets across it and placed his own comforter on top. She was still wet when she sat down on top of it. Still wet… he swallowed back a groan. There was an oversized Knicks shirt on the table he'd set out for her earlier and he placed it in her lap.

Her eyes were glazed.

He thought for a moment about taking the towel completely off her and _then_ putting the shirt on. But he couldn't. Deep down, he knew she was waiting for him to lose her trust. So he took the shirt and stretched out the neck, pulling it down over her head. He took her bad arm first and guided it through the baggy sleeve, then the other. When the shirt was on, she stood up and he caught a glimpse of her hips as the towel fell and the shirt took its place.

She had hips. Great hips. Hips he wanted to hold while he was thrusting inside of her…

Nick swallowed. He could feel his cheeks burning as he picked up the towel. "You really think it has to do with Simon?"

Her eyes flickered up to his. "Doesn't it always?"

"I know he's been difficult."

"He's my brother."

"That's no excuse, Olivia."

The night sky brought darkness around them and for a moment, Nick felt a pang of panic. What if he'd missed something? What if they had been followed and now the attackers were just waiting… waiting for him to walk away, to let his guard down. His eyes scanned the room. The windows were locked. Olivia's gun and badge were on the dresser near the closet.

He took her gun in his hands and settled on the floor at the foot of the bed. Olivia had lain down and her eyes were closed tight. It startled him when she spoke. "Nick, you don't have to stay there."

"Something's not right."

"I can use that gun, too, you know."

"You're medicated."

He heard a low chuckle escape her lips and he felt his dick respond. He loved that chuckle, and didn't get to hear it nearly enough. She sighed. "You need to rest. You were up all night."

Her sigh was light. So gentle and even it brought a chill to his skin.

He clung to moments like these when he observed the softness in her. It was what made her unique—the mixture of strength and vulnerability. A constant contradiction that drew from somewhere inside of her and effected every decision she made. It's what he loved about her.

Nick rubbed his forehead. He moved slowly, his hands running along the wood, until he was sitting with his back against the top of the bed frame. He smelled the lavender from her body. Watched her lying there in _his_ blanket, on one of _his_ beds.

Slowly Nick let his head tilt back and in moments he was fast asleep next to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you again for your lovely feedback!**

* * *

Olivia awoke to a pounding headache. Her throat was dry and her skin felt too hot for comfort. She groaned, rolled, and saw Nick sitting up in the bed with his back against the wall, fast asleep.

"Nick?"

He startled awake and immediately aimed her gun at the door. "What? You see someone?"

The sun was up already but the day was overcast and rainy. She rubbed her eyes. God, she had been out of it. She remembered barely being able to eat at dinner and then there was that moment in the bathroom… Her skin broke out into goosebumps. Nick had seen her naked. Almost naked, at least. She remembered the feel of his fingertips against her skin…

"Olivia?"

"Sorry. Everything's fine. I just… those pills…"

Nick leaned forward and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "I'll get you some Tylenol and water. Not as strong as the Hydrocodone but it might take the edge off."

His weight shifted off the bed and she felt the absence of heat. Once sweating, she now pulled the covers tighter. The muscles in her stomach were aching. She curled into herself and closed her eyes, trying to think of the possible connections between Simon and the two men who attacked her, but she could barely remember what they looked like now. That's how it was with memories. She'd seen it with a million witnesses before.

Soon it would all be like a dream.

Nick settled again on the edge of the bed next to her with two white pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. She took the pills and drank ravenously.

"What hurts?"

She smiled. "Everything. It's hard being old."

Olivia laid her head back against the pillow, wincing as another spasm of pain rippled through her abdomen. Nick frowned. "He hit you in the stomach, right? They said you had bruising…"

Before she could stop him, his hand was pulling back the covers, pulling the Knicks t-shirt up off her so he could see her abdomen. She hissed as the cool air hit her body. Her thighs were exposed, her hips, too. All that was between them was a thin layer of satin underwear.

His eyes traced over the dark purple and brown bruises that lined her stomach. The coloring had gotten worse since she'd been released from the hospital, but the doctors assured her she had no internal bleeding or broken ribs. It was just the way her body reacted to damage.

"It got worse?"

His hand smoothed over the bruises and she shivered. "I bruise easily."

"He hit you pretty hard."

"I'm a cop. I've been hit harder."

The rage boiled beneath his skin—so strong and so fierce that she could see it rising in his cheeks. His jaw clenched. "If they come—"

"We'll find them."

"I'll make them pay for what they did."

"Nick…"

His palm brushed over the skin on her hips, curving down over the satin panties and she felt a surge of heat shooting to her core. She clenched her thighs. Oh God, why was he doing this? She could barely stifle the blush that rose to her cheeks, the way her skin pebbled and shook under his touch.

His eyes met hers, heated.

"You're beautiful. You know that?"

She swallowed, felt her heart thudding heavily in her chest but not in a bad way. In an excited, hopeful sort of way. Like maybe he wouldn't abandon her. Like maybe he wouldn't use her and discard her when he was through.

The hope permeated.

Nick leaned down, pressing his lips to hers and she kissed him long and hard.

* * *

She kissed him back and he almost couldn't believe it. Her soft lips against his, he pressed into her body for a moment before pulling away. She smelled like lavender and cinnamon.

His pants were tight as he turned away from her.

"We should go down to the precinct."

He heard her swallow, saw the blush on her chest and cheeks. His hands fell away from her waist as she arched her back and sat up straight. "You think they'll have something?"

Nick shook his head. He didn't know what headway they'd made on the case, but he knew if she was at the precinct he would at least have to keep his hands to himself. That way he could think. She could think and maybe they could talk about things…

He sighed. Because there she was, void of makeup and half drugged with her lip still healing from being split open and he thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He was fucked. Big time.

"We could get breakfast on the way if you want."

She stood up and the Knicks shirt fell to her upper thighs. She withdrew a pair of blue jeans from her small travel bag, hair falling in her face. "That sounds good. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Olivia, look—"

"Don't. It's alright."

"I'm not just playing around," he said. He stood and grasped her elbow, turning her so they were face to face, their chests inches away from each other. "I'm not like that."

"I know you're not. But…" she swallowed hard. Her eyebrows knit together, her gaze razor straight and strong. "It's complicated."

Nick looked in her eyes and realized she was about to cry. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling the curve of her hips and the softness of her skin. She tilted her head into the crook of his neck. Her hands were on his back, and she was shaking.

He held tight.

But she kept shaking. And then he felt her breaths against his neck, rasping and uneven, and then her tears were wet against his skin. His stomach lurched. Feeling her cry like this was one of the worst things he'd ever experienced. "Don't cry. Please? We'll figure it out."

He pulled back and placed his hands on both sides of her neck, his thumbs resting along her jaw line. He forced her to look at him.

"Olivia?"

She exhaled slowly and he could feel the tension that gripped her body as she forced herself to calm down. Her eyes squeezed shut.

All Nick wanted in the world that moment was to make her happy. So he pressed his lips to hers, feeling her neck muscles slowly lose their tension. Then her shoulders released and he felt her back gradually slacken under his touch. Her skin heated as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth and tasted her for the first time.

Warm and chaste. Exactly the way he thought she'd be.

She sighed into the kiss and he pulled her into him, his palm smoothing over the curve of her ass. He cupped the back of her thigh with one hand as his other found the wall and pressed her against it. He was hard. Throbbing. He couldn't control himself as he thrust against her and heard her moaning in response. He felt her nipples harden.

God, she felt good.

Nick pulled back. "Wait. Not like this. I wanna…" he licked his lips, feeling flustered and frustrated as he tasted her on them. "I wanna make love to you."

Her breasts heaved against his chest. She clutched his shirt in her fists and nodded. A few moments lapsed between them filled solely with the sounds of their frantic breathing before she spoke again. "I need to get dressed."

He slowly pulled away, watching her face for signs of tension but she just looked tired. She looked resigned. He hated that look.

Nick leaned in and pressed one last kiss to her lips before turning and leaving her alone in the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for sticking with me! I won't abandon you just yet!**

* * *

She was quite shaken because she wasn't used to the complete and utter sweetness. It was like he worshiped her or something, and that was a feeling Olivia wasn't used to. Sure David Hayden was a perfect gentlemen, but he'd always been about David Hayden when it all came down to it.

Bottom line, Olivia was afraid. She was afraid of hoping when her hopes always ended in failure. She was afraid of feeling happy, of enjoying something when she knew it would just be taken away.

They got bagels at the deli down the street and headed into the station. Light rain hung in the air and it clung to her clothes as she made her way from the car and into the precinct. Nick stayed close to her side, but not too close.

"Olivia," Fin was the first out of his seat. "How are you?"

"Fine. You got anything for me?"

"We got the two guys on video, but we can't ID them."

She rounded the corner and saw the captain staring at her from inside his office. His wrinkled face was drawn up in concern. Big eyes open and hurting like a puppy dog's. Olivia ignored him. "Do you have a decent picture of them? I'm thinking about asking Simon to make the ID."

Fin's eyebrows rose. "Simon?"

"Yeah. I think they might be connected."

"What makes you think that?"

Olivia stopped. She didn't like being second guessed, especially not in front of people. "A feeling," she said. "Why?"

"We think they're in with a sex smuggling ring."

A sex smuggling ring? How could she have anything to do with that? The frustration mounted and she felt her temples throbbing. Her stomach was still sore and when she closed her eyes she could still feel Nick's hands smoothing across her skin. Carefully she picked up the case file and started up the stairs to the loft. It was too loud in the squad room, and too crowded. She felt like she was suffocating. "Fine. I'll be upstairs going through photos."

She turned and left, letting them chatter amongst themselves. The pressure in her temples increased as she climbed the stairs and sat down behind one of the tables by the window. It was barely day outside. The light was so concealed and so covered by mist that she couldn't even see into the next building.

Olivia barely noticed as Nick slipped into the seat next to her and Cragen took the one in front. Her eyes fluttered and for a brief moment, a ray of sunlight slipped through the clouds. "You shouldn't be here," Cragen said finally. "You're the victim."

"I can help."

"I'd rather have you at home, recovering."

Nick shifted next to her and she could feel the warmth from his body through her blouse. He was quiet, reassuring. There was a pervading calmness about Nick sometimes that she found incredibly sexy.

"Olivia…" Cragen rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. "Why do you think it's Simon?"

"Because I was talking to him on the phone when it happened."

"You didn't tell us that at the hospital."

Fuck. She'd been meaning to pay him a visit before letting any cops loose on him. Olivia shifted. "Must've skipped my mind. I wasn't in the best shape."

Cragen nodded and she could almost see the gears ticking in his head. That was the only problem with working for the same man for over a decade—he could spot the lies so easily. Finally his attention turned to the younger man. "Are you two making out okay?"

Nick made a sound like he was choking on his tongue. "What?"

"You doing okay at home, right? Making sure you watch those cuts?"

"Oh. Right, of course we are."

Cragen's gaze flickered from Nick to Olivia and back. The wrinkles above his eyebrows drew into deep creases and he patted the table with his palm before standing and walking away. Biting his tongue, Olivia thought. It was such a silly thing. Because he'd seen her keep control of herself for ten years with Elliot and with Nick she couldn't even keep it together for two.

Her cheeks heated.

She was really losing her touch.

* * *

Nick knew she was uncomfortable, so he bought lunch for them at the deli and drove her home with him. Her eyes were still, heavy and guarded, and he wondered if something unspoken had passed between her and Cragen that he hadn't picked up on. He played back their words and expressions in his mind, trying to find something that he'd missed, but there was nothing.

He felt like the new rookie detective again. Not used to everyone's quirks.

When they got inside, Olivia immediately lay down on the couch. Her fingertips on her uninjured hand pressed into her temples, rubbing slow circles. "I hate it, but those pills work wonders."

He popped two into her hand and gave her a glass of water. "They hit your head against the brick wall, right?"

"It's fine."

"What if something—"

"Nick, the doctors checked. I'm sure everything's alright."

Her hand rested on his chest as she said it and his eyes flickered down over it. His took her slim fingers in his own and pressed his lips to them, feeling the cold they harbored.

"Nick…"

Every damn time he was alone with her…

His lips lingered on the inside of her wrist, smelling her skin and faint lavender. Her breath hitched as he continued up her good arm, brushing his lips against the inside of her elbow. He could hear her rapid breathing, the way her breasts constricted against the cotton fabric of her blouse. Carefully he undid the top two buttons. His gaze slid over the curve of her breasts and the black satin bra.

He moved from sitting on the coffee table in front of her to kneeling between her legs, his stomach pressed into the couch. Pulling her against him, a wave of her hair fell in her face and he saw her bite her lip. He settled in between her legs, her chest inches from his lips.

Slowly he peeled back the shirt.

The clasp of the bra gave him trouble at first, but after he calmed down and tried again, he got it to pop open. One hand cupped her waist as his lips went to her right breast first, sucking gently. His tongue swirled around her nipple and he heard her moan. She arched her back.

Her skin heated and shivered under his touch. He pressed into the side of the couch.

There was a knock at the door.

Nick growled. He pulled back and saw her nipple fully erect, skin pebbled around it and he clasped his hands around the back of his neck. "Fuck," he muttered and rose to his feet. He waited until Olivia had drawn her shirt back over her chest to open the door.

There stood two NYPD officers, six foot tall if an inch, arms so big they barely fit in the door. Nick sighed. "You guys the ones workin' Olivia's case?"

"Officially? Yeah."

"Come on in. She's in the living room."

Her face was still pink when the two of them sat down across from her. Nick took his place at her side, trying not to smile at the way her neck was flushed, her lips pursed together and arms drawn tight across her chest. He loved how she looked in that moment. She was perfect.

They asked her the same questions the SVU squad had already asked and with equal answers. Her lips drew tight when they pressed too much and Nick felt his arm draping casually over the back of the couch where she sat.

The younger of the two cops turned his attention on Nick. "You two partners?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"Bout a year and a half."

"You close?"

The skin on the back of Nick's neck prickled. He shifted forward, feeling his gun bite into the skin on his hip. "What's that got to do with anything?"

The officer smirked. "Just a little non-professional curiosity."

Nick stiffened, felt Olivia doing the same next to him. "Can I see your badge?"

The officers eyed each other. In less than a second they had both drawn their guns and so had Nick and Olivia. The four of them stood in the living room, facing each other with their safeties off and fingers on the triggers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Taking a break for Thanksgiving. Leave me some love and I'll try to turn the heat up in the next chapter/s. 3**

* * *

They stood like that for several seconds. No one moved. Olivia heard the traffic raging through the streets below, felt the sudden lightheadedness as the painkillers started to kick in. She gritted her teeth. Were these the men from before? It bothered her that she couldn't remember. She tried to think back to that evening, tried to picture their faces but all she saw was the attack in flashes—the brick wall, the uneven pavement of the alley wall, the two tall figures, a snake tattoo….

She snapped back in focus. The snake tattoo. Was it there? She tried to get a look at his neck but he was wearing a black turtleneck underneath the blue officer's uniform. Was it possible the two men who attacked her were actually cops?

Nick cleared his throat. "Who are you?"

"We're looking for Simon."

"Why's that?"

"Unofficial police business."

"Unofficial?"

A smirk flittered across the younger police officer's face. Olivia felt her stomach churning. She remembered that smirk… "Yeah, unofficial. Kinda like what you and your partner here were doing just before we showed up."

Olivia's heart hammered in her chest. How long had they been watching the place? Her injured wrist was throbbing, felt heavy, and it was growing harder and harder to her to keep the gun in the air. "Why do you want Simon?" She ventured. "Is he in trouble?"

"He owes us money."

"Yeah, well, he owes me money, too. You'll have to be more specific."

The younger officer shifted his weight. He frowned, eyes flickering over to his partner. There were beads of sweat forming above his upper lip and for a moment she considered that maybe these guys didn't know what the hell they were doing. Maybe they were going after a grudge, or maybe something worse. "What's he done now? I can't help you if you don't help me."

The older officer slowly lowered his gun. He placed it on the table and stood back. "He bought one of our girls but escaped prosecution because our chain of evidence was screwy. We're pretty sure he killed her."

"He'd never kill anyone."

"How do you know?"

He's my brother, she wanted to say. But that didn't mean anything, really. He'd made choices in the past that she thought were below him. Simon was always surprising her. "If' you're so sure, why not pursue him through legal channels."

"We can't. We got bumped off the case."

"Excessive force?"

"Like I said before –chain of evidence."

The painkillers were now in full effect. Olivia could barely keep her eyes open, much less hold her gun steady. She let it drop to her side. "He's in jail," she said slowly. "If you're cops, how the hell did you not know that?"

The older officer winced. "Look, we were desperate. The girl that got killed was my baby sister. She was undercover."

Olivia stilled. She could see the pain in his eyes when he spoke. She opened her mouth to respond but Nick was already jumping in, his gun still raised. "I'm sorry about your sister, man, but you attacked a fellow law officer. I can't let you off the hook."

The older officer seemed to hesitate. His eyes crinkled up. "Okay, then. Take me in—"

"John."

"It's okay. Book me. I was the one that attacked you."

Olivia stiffened as the man turned around and placed his hands behind his back. His partner slowly did the same. Olivia rubbed her forehead. "We're not putting you in the same facility as him."

"_You_ won't. But I've got friends inside."

Nick moved forward, securing the cuffs around his wrist and then moving to his partner's. Olivia felt her fingers wandering over to the younger man's neck. She pulled the turtleneck down and saw the snake tattoo. Her body deflated. "You won't—"

"Say anything about the two of you? Not if you're nice…"

Olivia licked her lips. "That wasn't what I was going to ask."

"But it's what you were thinking, right? It'd be pretty hard to explain what your partner's lips were doing attached to your breast."

"You wouldn't."

"I would and we have pictures. All I'm asking is for a phone call on a private line when you bring us in."

Olivia felt Nick stiffen beside her. He was still young, still fresh in his career and she knew something like this would devastate him. She straightened, felt all three men in the room waiting for her response. "Okay," she said finally. "Give me those photographs."

"Olivia—"

She waved Nick aside. Because it wasn't his fault that this was how far she'd fallen. Her choices and her choices alone had led them here. She was the veteran detective and she should've known better. "The photographs."

"In my back pocket."

Hesitantly she slipped her fingers into the back pocket of his pants and felt a wad of photos and a memory card. She pulled them out and her stomach dropped—photo of them on the couch, in the guest room. They were screwed. She swallowed. "Alright. Let's go."

* * *

The ride to the precinct passed in silence and Nick kept stealing glances at her as he drove. Her head rested against the back of the seat and it seemed like she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

The pills.

His stomach lurched. She put up a good front but the pills had taken their toll. She'd accepted a bribe. It was totally against her nature and for a moment he wondered what her motives had been—fear for her own job? Her career? Or maybe she was embarrassed to have been fooling around with her rookie partner.

Her eyes were glazed as they pulled up at the precinct and walked inside.

It didn't take long for them to be booked and locked up. Olivia got them their phone call and was headed to the Captain's office when he saw her falter. Her hand shot out, reaching for the desk and just as she was crumpling to the floor, Nick swooped in and caught her. Her head rolled back against his shoulder as he lowered her to the ground, arms still around her waist. "Can I get some help here?!"

He heard Fin calling for an EMT. There was a flurry of people around him and he heard Cragen asking what happened. Nick shook his head. "It's the painkillers. She hasn't eaten."

"She's done this before?"

"No. Just today."

Her skin was warm against his as he shifted her, catching the scent of her shampoo as her head rolled up and she opened her eyes. "Nick?"

"You okay?"

She struggled forward in his arms but he held tight. "I'm fine."

"They're bringing a paramedic."

"I don't."

"Olivia."

She swallowed. Her skin felt so warm it was almost burning. Her shirt dipped low and he caught sight of a large circular bruise on her lower chest. Only it wasn't a bruise. Nick groaned. What was he, a teenager? He knew better than to mess around with women like this—especially ones he worked with. Especially ones he felt this strongly about.

The EMT came and checked her out, scolded her for not eating and told her to go home to rest. She would be okay but Nick still had this sinking feeling in his gut. The nervous tension of a man with a known secret.

He helped her inside and made her eat a sandwich before laying her down on the guest bed. Her eyes fluttered, heavy with sleep. "I'm sorry about this, Nick. I shouldn't—"

"It takes two," he said. "Don't apologize. I was the one that pushed it."

She looked at him for a moment before nodding and letting her eyes flicker shut. He watched the lines near her forehead even out, slowly smoothing into the deeply tanned skin that he loved.

He shouldn't have, but his eyes were tired too, and as she slowly fell into a deep slumber, Nick lay down on the bed next to her. Her even breathing was the only sound in his ears as they drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Struggled to get this chapter out. Thanks for sticking with me!**

* * *

Olivia awoke half dazed, in that easy moment of sleepiness when the body's nerves are slowly coming back to life. She felt relaxed. Her skin was warm. She stretched and felt Nick's body next to hers. He was fast asleep and as she rolled, she allowed her hand to fall on his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt. There was an intimacy in the moment that struck her. It reverberated in her chest, heavy and alarming.

Slowly she leaned in. They were already screwed. She was already screwed. Those photographs proved that they could be caught and caught easily.

Olivia pressed her lips to his, feeling his body respond to the contact.

His eyes never opened but she felt his hand slipping through her hair as he kissed her back. She sidled up next to him so their bodies were flush against each other. He stiffened for a moment and she stopped. "What?"

The palm of his hand rested on her neck and he kissed her cheek, his fingers smoothing over the skin on her jaw line. "You lied."

"To protect your career."

"Mine, or yours?"

This time she was the one who stiffened. She pulled carefully out of his grasp, yanking the covers up and around her chest so she was sitting on the side of the bed with her back to him. What was he insinuating? That she did it to cover her own back? After all these years of mistakes… it was only a matter of time for her. It was different for him and she knew it. Olivia sighed. "What are we doing here?"

"I was gonna ask you the same question."

"I know what _I_ want. But it seems like you don't."

"I want us together. Under the right circumstances."

"There are no right circumstances, Nick. We're partners."

She felt the covers shift. Then the warm, hard planes of his chest were pressing up against her back, his legs falling on either side of her own. He wrapped his arms around her. "I wanna make it work."

God. He was so naïve.

She tilted her head to the side, feeling a strand of hair fall against her cheek. Neck exposed, she felt his lips on her skin, warm and demanding, and Olivia sighed. She did want to make it work but it wasn't as easy as it seemed. Things with co-workers were always complicated. She didn't want another Brian Cassidy headache on her hands.

Nick's hands worked their way across her stomach, tenderly because the bruises were still present there, even if they were not as sore as the first day. Her skin broke out into chills. Why was he so gentle with her? Damn those hands. She could barely find a second to think. And she had to think about this. She had to decide what to do—tell Cragen or not? Could they go along with it for a while and then come out to the Captain if it looked serious?

But what if it didn't go well?

They could jeopardize everything. The thought made her shiver but she was helpless to stop his hands from roaming lower, teasing the button of her jeans and slipping below the waistband. He ran his palm over the skin on her lower belly and she felt a jolt of heat between her legs.

Maybe they could just fuck and it wouldn't have to be a relationship. A small sigh escaped her lips, slightly parted, as his hand withdrew to the outside of her jeans and began rubbing her through the thick fabric. Olivia felt her nipples hardening. He was so damn pushy.

"Nick," she growled.

"What?"

His voice was low and husky. She hadn't heard him sound like this before and it spurred her on. Quickly she slipped off her bra. She took his left hand and raised it to her nipple, her palm covering his. He kept biting at her neck. She wanted to feel his mouth against her core but at the moment the sensations he was causing to just her upper body was enough. Olivia squirmed, felt his length pressing against her back.

"Olivia—"

"Don't stop."

It made her uncomfortable how wet she was already for him. Was it always like this? Or just with Nick? It was something she needed to think about but couldn't, especially feeling how hard he was against her.

She felt his movements becoming more and more frantic. He was trying so hard to stay gentle, to stay loving and tender and she knew it. But she didn't want that. After everything that had happened between them, Olivia was starting to trust him enough to allow him to let go with her.

"Be rough," she whispered. "It's okay."

* * *

He felt like he was hallucinating. Did she just said what he thought she said? His body broke out into a wave of heat. His skin burned, and for a moment he was so hard he thought he wouldn't be able to take it a second longer. That's the way she made him. She drove him crazy.

He tried to make sense of it, feeling the way her body responded to his touch. Maybe he could let go. Maybe she trusted him enough. Or maybe she just… maybe that's what she was used to? He didn't want her to feel like he wanted her only for her body. He loved every part of her. Her personality, her strength.

"You sure?"

Her reply was nearly breathless. "Yeah."

"Liv—"

"For godssake, Nick."

He felt the urgency behind her words, saw the red of her skin branching from her neck all the way down to her chest. He stood, pulling her up with him. Slowly he maneuvered her shirt over her head and threw it on the ground. Then he forced her down over the dresser and unzipped his pants.

He was throbbing. He could barely think straight. His vision swam and for a moment it seemed like she was tensing under his touch, but then she calmed again. Her back arched as he slipped her jeans down her thighs. His palm slid under the material of her underwear, slowly pulling it lower and lower and he felt her trembling beneath his hands. He slipped two fingers between her legs and immediately her back lost its tension. Her stance widened as she tightened around him.

Damn, she felt good. He teased her until she was gasping and begging him, her fists clenched tight around the top of the dresser.

When she was ready he grabbed her hips and slammed her down against him. Olivia let out a muffled cry in response. She was tight. He adjusted and entered her again and again until she stretched to accommodate him. He felt his dick twitching, the way her body heated with sweat. He really wanted to tease it out longer but he couldn't wait.

Nick came inside of her and felt her muscles rippling around him several seconds later.

Her body shuddered, trembling in front of him, and he grabbed her wrist and pulled her flush against him. It was nice to have her this way, naked and vulnerable in his arms. With no heels or boots on, she was a few inches shorter than him and it surprised him how much this change in stature affected him. It was like looking at her in a different light. She seemed softer. More timid.

"You okay?"

"More than okay."

She blushed slightly and his hand flew to her cheeks. "Olivia, you're beautiful."

"You still think I covered for us to save my own career?"

Nick shifted. He pulled her warm body in close to his own, the palm of his hand resting on the small of her back. "I was wrong to assume that."

"You were."

It seemed like, in her smile, there was a faint hint of awareness. Like she knew she was exposed, and she wasn't running from it. But Nick knew Olivia and with that he knew she could change her mind in a heartbeat. He prayed he wouldn't, held her tight until her body finally stopped shaking.


	7. Chapter 7

**This update was tough to come by. Thanks to LivandDeanshipper for the kind words of encouragement. This fic is going to weave around a bit but I do have a destination in mind. Thanks for sticking with me and by all means, leave me some feedback if you can. **

* * *

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

She didn't know exactly how she knew to take a pregnancy test, but she did. There were no obvious signs—her period was spotty, she didn't have morning sickness, and she hadn't gained any weight. But her ankles had been swollen for two weeks straight and that more than anything was what made her check.

Olivia sighed and threw the stick in the garbage.

Sweat clung to her brow. She pinched her lip between her teeth, felt the tremble in her outstretched hand. The bathroom seemed to spin momentarily, but she caught herself on the side of the sink and splashed cold water on her face.

It occurred to her that in moments like these, women usually had someone to call. Someone to tell. But who could she really talk to? There was no one. Her heart throbbed painfully inside her chest and for a second she wished she could tear it out. She wished to not feel anything.

Olivia had never been so scared in her life.

* * *

Nick kept his eye on his partner's back as she weaved her way across the street. They had just visited a victim's house and were now checking out the subway station down the street where the attack had happened. Since their one night of passion three months ago, Olivia had done the worst thing he could've imagined—she pulled away. She grew quiet, distant. After her wounds healed she went back to her own apartment and they hadn't spoken about it since.

His footsteps echoed on the empty concourse as he followed her over to the subway booth. The woman inside told Olivia that the video footage was being held two stations up and it would be fastest if they took the next subway up.

The train slowed as it reached the station.

Nick took her by the elbow as they pushed inside. He kept watch over her face—checking for signs. He'd noticed that she'd been more tired than usual the past month and there were black shadows that lingered beneath her eyes. She walked slower. Her boots were left untied at the top.

"What's going on?"

They stood facing each other on either side of a metal pole. Olivia blinked. "We have to go up to—"

"No. With you."

Brown eyes fluttered up to him, then away. "How do you mean?"

"Something's up."

"Nick—"

"Are you pregnant?"

Her reaction was relatively subdued. Her mouth opened just the slightest, cheeks reddening only enough to make them look windblown. Her eyes skimmed across the row of people sitting behind them and he didn't need an answer to know that she was.

"How long have you known?"

She shook her head.

"Olivia—"

"Look, I'm not expecting anything of you," she said. She brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. "Don't feel like you owe me anything. It's okay."

Nick went still. He heard the screaming sound of the brakes as they slowed for the next station, but it did nothing to drown out the constriction he felt rising in his chest. He clenched the metal bar. Olivia turned to make her way out but he grabbed her wrist and yanked her back. Her eyes flashed up at him as the rest of the crowd made their way out.

There were only three other people in their car when the doors shut.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I just don't want you to feel… obligated."

His grip stayed strong. The jolt of the train pushed her forward into him, and his other hand went instinctively around her waist. "It's not an obligation, it's a privilege."

"You're young."

"Not that young."

Something like a smile traipsed across her lips and she shifted in his grasp. He was so close that he could smell her shampoo. There was something soft about her up close that he'd been missing these past few months. "I can do this on my own."

"I'm sure you can, but you don't have to."

She hesitated and it was so characteristic of her. Fighting to let down her guard. Fighting to let someone inside the super reinforced defenses that had broken her so many times and built her back up. She licked her lips and her body swayed as the train slowed for the third time. Then he felt her hand closing around his. "How are we going to do this, Nick?"

"However you want."

The smell of exhaust and heavy, sweat laden air stung his nostrils as the doors opened to Union Square. He tried to capture her face in this moment, vulnerable and hopeful at the same time, and store it away in his memory forever. She sighed and he pressed his lips to hers.

* * *

There would be no big moves, Olivia told herself. At least, not immediately. Things changed with the wind and she knew better than to get her hopes up. After all, Nick had another family. He had another child and she didn't want to make things messy for them. She wanted to keep it quiet. She wanted to pretend everything was normal and raise her kid without the weight of her actions on her shoulders.

But here she was, idling in front of Cragen's office, her stomach churning.

Her hand slid over her stomach, fingers stilling over the tip of her navel. Was there really a little person in there? It was hard for her to believe it sometimes, but she couldn't deny it. There was this feeling. This bond. For the first time in her life she felt she was really, truly connected to another person.

The door to Cragen's office swung open and he stopped inches in front of her. "Olivia?"

"Captain."

"Can I help you with something?"

She hesitated. Her fingers fell away from her stomach and she clenched her fists. "Could we speak privately?"

Wrinkled skin creased together. His large eyes thinned for a moment. Then he moved back against the door and ushered her in. "What is it?"

His room smelled like it always smelled—of licorice and shoe polish. Olivia wondered if her apartment had a distinct smell. If her kid would come home and feel safe because of the placement of the furniture and the way the air smelled and the type of spaghetti sauce she used on pasta.

A wave of vertigo passed over her.

"I'm going to need some time off," she said.

"Now?"

"In a few months."

The creases folded even tighter together. He stared at her. "You going on vacation?"

"Not exactly."

"Then, what?"

She hated it but her eyes clouded with tears. Olivia swallowed. "I'm pregnant."

If Cragen was surprised, his face revealed nothing. His eyes stayed still on her, the creases above his eyebrows winding together before releasing. Olivia crossed her arms across her chest. The silence in the room in that moment was one of the heaviest she'd ever felt.

Finally Cragen nodded. He loosened his tie and the creases slipped away entirely.

"Maternity leave," he said. "Okay. You got someone to help you?"

"I think so."

He nodded. His eyes took a hint of concern and she felt the tightness in her chest ceasing somewhat. His calm helped to calm her. It reassured her. Olivia uncrossed her arms.

"Thanks, Captain. And… if you could keep this to yourself…"

"Of course."

She nodded, felt a breeze nudging the back of her neck as she stepped out the door and faced the precinct. The sick feeling in her stomach abated. This was happening, she told herself. It was happening. And it would be okay.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the support, hope to wrap this story up soon!**

* * *

Simon got shot. It was a Tuesday, about two months later and Olivia was about 18 weeks into her pregnancy. The weather was wretched—it was a cold, rainy day and the windows were smeared with grey clouds. She got the call at 7:49pm and Nick raced her to the hospital where she walked as fast as she could to the intensive care unit.

The man who had shot him was another inmate, a man named John Savard, an ex-cop from California. They weren't sure how he smuggled the gun into the recreation room, but it had happened, and now Simon was lying on an operating table with two bullets lodged in his chest.

"It's my fault," she said. Her voice was choked, tight. She felt an intense pressure at the base of her stomach, near her navel. She felt the baby pushing at her skin, clawing its way out. It hurt too much for a moment and she settled herself down on the bench outside the surgery room.

"You can't blame yourself. He smuggled—"

"I didn't actually think he'd find Simon. Jesus Christ, Nick. I led them straight to him."

Her pulse beat rapidly in her throat. It threatened to expel itself from her chest and she leaned over, letting her head rest in her hands. She felt Nick's hand rubbing calming circles on her lower back. Her feet ached. She shifted.

"Olivia, you gotta calm down."

He said it softly. He meant well, she knew, but he had no idea. How the hell was she going to raise a child when she couldn't even keep her grown up brother from harm's way?

Her stomach throbbed. Nick leaned down and pressed his lips to the back of her head. "Breathe."

"I can't."

"Think about something good. It'll help."

Olivia fought to clear her mind. It was scary how long it took her to think of something nice. Because the first things that came to mind were blood and gore and sex and morbid things like fathers abusing their preteen daughters. How the hell was she going to raise a kid like this? The darkness swam in her vision but then she felt Nick's arms pulling her into his chest, her back propped up against him, and he was whispering, "We can put the crib across from the window so he can look outside, but he can't reach the windowpane. Right? And we can hang one of those little toys from the fan to keep him from crying."

She breathed deep. Her belly still hurt, but the aching tension from before was slowly fading.

Simon would make it through this. He had to.

Right?

* * *

Simon was in stable condition by the time they left the hospital. It was early—still dark, but quiet enough that it wasn't the evening anymore. Nick drove through the city at an even speed. There were no pedestrians and no cops and a tranquil sort of peace spread throughout the buildings.

He helped Olivia up to her apartment, feeling her body heavy with sleep. She was exhausted. She'd been working late, getting up early, preoccupied with working on the baby's room.

"You didn't eat," he said.

Olivia sank into the white comforter of her bed. Her golden brown hair splayed across the soft fabric, moonlight cascading down around her. "I'll have a big breakfast."

"You can't keep doing this."

"Nick… I know my own body, okay?"

He hesitated, realizing now the amount of control he'd been exerting over her since he'd found out she was pregnant. Her words were soft but they held a hint of warning. He had to trust her. Nick carefully took her boots off, then undid the belt around her swelling stomach. She wasn't big yet, but there was a distinct bulge. He pulled up the black blouse a bit to look at her navel, smoothing his palm over it.

Her eyes fluttered. She gazed lazily at him. "Stay," she whispered.

He nodded.

The streets were quiet below as he slowly undressed her. He started with her socks first, then his hand idled on the back of her thigh as he unzipped her pants and slipped his hands below the waistline. He slowly brought them down her legs, his eyes falling upon her tanned skin as he went. He heard her voice hitch as she shivered.

Her legs crossed in modesty, almost shyness.

"Liv, relax."

He unbuttoned her blouse and let her long hair dance around his fingertips as he peeled it off her shoulders. Her skin was warm to the touch. She smelled of cinnamon and lavender and her lips parted as he leaned down to place a kiss on her collar bone.

He was tired. He could feel the fatigue tugging at the end of his eyes, but he kept his hands steady and moving. He tossed the blouse to the floor and unhitched her bra, his palm cupping her breast, feeling her nipples harden. Her eyes were glazed with exhaustion but she still managed to pull at the belt around his waist, tugging his pants down until he finally kicked them off.

Nick lay down on the bed next to her so they were face to face. His hands skimmed over her breasts as he kissed her neck and mouth. When he finally reached between her legs, she stiffened a bit before allowing him in. It was always like that. Every time. She still had the initial reaction of mistrust—hesitancy, doubt. Even though he had made it clear over the past two months he wasn't going anywhere, she still acted like he was.

It made him mad.

But then he looked at her growing belly, at the way her eyes sparkled once she passed the initial stage of misgiving, and he knew it would all be worth it.

Nick worked her over with two fingers before grabbing the back of her thigh and pulling her leg up so it was curled around his middle. He sank inside her and watched as her eyes closed, lips parted. He kissed her and cupped her neck, thrusting as she slowly stretched to accommodate him. There was a tension crease above her eyebrow and he hurried his movements, watching it closely to see when it would even out.

It didn't. Her flesh blotched with redness and he came inside her but the tension line lingered. Her mind was off somewhere—he could feel it in her body. He could read it in her eyes.

His thumb smoothed over the line and she gazed up at him.

"I'm worried, Nick."

"I can tell."

"I'm sorry, I—"

"It's okay." Nick pulled her in close and wrapped his arm around her waist. "It's fine. Come on, get some rest."

He closed his eyes but felt hers linger on him. He could almost hear her thoughts—Simon, the baby, work. As much as Olivia played it cool, she was a constant worrier. And although he understood that her whole life had been a roller coaster, he still wanted to find a way to quiet the worry.

"Olivia, it'll be—"

"It's going to come out," she said. Her voice was low, raw. "What I did. Secrets like that never stay buried long."

"You're pregnant. You don't need the stress."

"You think I don't know that?"

He sighed. "We'll deal with it when we have to."

"I'm going to Cragen tomorrow."

His hand stopped moving across her skin. He stilled. The back of his neck prickled. "We don't get to talk about it? You're just… decided?"

"I have to."

"Olivia—"

"I'll take the consequences. It's better than carrying this weight around…" her eyes filled with tears, vulnerable in a way she rarely was with anyone. It zapped the anger right out of his body and his hand went to cup her neck again as she licked her lips. Her cheeks were wet with tears in a matter of moments. "I wanted to be with you but I was too scared to come out with it. I made a bad choice in hiding those photos."

"It was both of us. I could've stepped forward."

"You wouldn't go against me and we both know it."

Olivia's voice took a raw, hardened edge when she said that. Her lips pursed. He wiped the tears away with his thumb.

He knew this moment would come at some point, and he'd dreaded it. Having her for a partner had been one of the best things that had ever happened to him. She was smart, capable, and fiercely independent. But sometimes you had to sacrifice one thing for another, and he was ready to support her in any way she needed.


End file.
